- It takes time. Some people come to therapy and think that after 6 sessions they will resolve life conflicts that took a whole lifetime to accumulate. Especially if you are working with trauma, unpicking yourself takes time and energy and there are no shortcuts.
- It takes investment. Yes a weekly therapy session can be helpful, but growing and becoming more aware is a daily practice. The more you invest in your healthy actions on a daily basis, the more you will grow.
- Part of the process is accumulating tools and resources that work for you and help you feel empowered. Part of your job is collecting and sorting through these tools. Being open to trying different things until you find what works for you is very important.
- You can’t do it alone. Find people who can help, whether peer support, community support or professional support.
- The path is not a straight line upwards. Any path of recovery is filled with ups and downs. There will be times when you step backwards or can’t see your progress. This is part of the process. A therapist can be an important resource to reflect back to you where you have come from.
- Relapse happens. Whatever relapse means for you, whether a self-destructive behavior, your dysphoria or torturous thinking, it can happen and it is not a reason to give up. If anything it can be a learning opportunity and a chance to see if you need more or different help.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone is on their own path and although you may share detransitioning in common with someone it does not mean that their path is the same as yours. If you learn to celebrate your uniqueness you will help insulate yourself from the pain of difference. Not everyone going through detransition will relate to you and likewise.
- Trying different approaches, medications and therapists until you find what works for you is simply part of the process. Try not to judge it too harshly if you don’t figure it our perfectly at first.
- Never give up. If you have a set back that is ok, just start again tomorrow.
- Don’t forget to remind yourself where you have come from and feel good about that. A path of introspection is a courageous path and not everyone can manage it.
- There is no cure for pain, loneliness or regret. We can do what we can to tend to the feelings and learn how to accept them, but we can not get rid of them or “cure” them.
Let me know if there is anything else that you find helpful on your healing journey.